to feel appreciated...

It's more than just feeling appreciated, it's believing the things that people offer up for you. My co-Americorps and I just finished up a couple weeks ago with a BIG conference for about 200 teens (that's big for me!). I've never planned a program or event for that many people, and it went so well. One or two tweeks that I can make and a little more fun and this conference would have been perfect. I was really proud for this being one of the first things I work on as an Americorps member.

My supervisors were constantly telling all of us what a great job we were doing and that we had such good contributions. It was nice to hear, but in the back of my head thought that was just cause they're my bosses... So I went on working the same.

Last night I went to a board meeting and gave an update. One of the board members sat up and announced to the board exactly what my boss had been saying the whole time. I don't know why, but that was very impressionable. He told me that how I put crazy thoughts onto paper and organize them is a key skill. I'M SOO UNORGANIZED IN MY LIFE!! I never knew I had that skill!!

I don't write all this to talk my self up and show off. More so to keep myself humble. To have someone point out your strong points in an informal setting (when they don't really HAVE TO) is very powerful and can change the way they feel, work and treat others. I now feel accountable and I want to keep doing just as good as before.

Think about it and do it for others please.

our first fruits...

So I went to church the other day and they talked about tithing.. something I was never really taught the tradition of. We talked about a bunch of different things, but one of them being giving our first fruits. It's a powerful thing that God asked people in the bible to give their very first 10% of earnings. To give that much with a chance of nothing in return could be very scary.

But on the other hand, so many times when we give to others we give what we have left over. Our left over change, out left over time, etc. It made me step back a minute and think what I do? Do I give my very best to serve those around me and other services? Is everyone meant to do that?

It's curious how automatically my mind goes straight to, "well what makes me a better person?" Maybe neither is better... I find that both are necessary in my agencies. We need people who give their everything all the time, but there's also a place for those who choose to give their "extra time" once and a while.

I think it's time we stop expecting so much of people and instead offer them a time and place to change.

oh... what I do is important... very important.

This past week I spent an amazing time with my peers and colleagues from around the country. I learned about other Americorps sites and the amazing volunteers that are doing such similar work as we are. I know that my co workers and I came back energized and full of ideas for our office. When I arrived at my office Monday morning there was a still and quiet feeling the office, not what I expected for us after this trip.

I was told about this one volunteer we've had for the past few years. He had his hard days, but became incredibly dedicated to service and his personality really defined a lot of what are agency is. He went to serve in Africa and do health education. Over the weekend he was found dead.

So sad... but even sadder is that this is the fourth youth in our town alone that has died since I've began living here in August.

These are young, physically healthy people - part of my generation. I feel sad and I feel angry. I feel compelled and scared. Talk about empathy, I've never felt this sad about something that doesn't directly effect me.

Though when I came here I assumed that my teens were going to be a bunch of privileged, closed minded kids when I came here, I've quickly learned that these are strong young adults that face the same struggles that I have seen throughout my life. This is life and this is the reality of the youth that I work with. I never thought my job was so important in my life. By creating these service experiences and sustainable programs in the community we don't only give teens something to do, but empower them to make a change and find a purpose.

So this is what real responsibility looks like...

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"It is not how much we do,
but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give,
but how much love we put in the giving. " ~Mother Teresa